Over the past couple of weeks, so many of you have shared your very personal and heartfelt reactions to this record. I’ve spent hours reading your messages and have been moved deeply by so many of your stories. From the moment THIS IS GONNA HURT was released, it became clear that it was resonating in a way that I never could have anticipated. It’s incredible to see how songs like LIES OF THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE and SKIN are inspiring people to come forward with brutal honesty and talk about insecurities that have consumed them their entire lives. We all have them. My question for you today is this…What about a person defines who they are? If there were no distinctive or defining traits about our appearance (if we all looked exactly the same) then what would it be that made us all different and how would we discover that about each other? Since we are NOT our skin, who ARE we?
-James
We are our values, principles, beliefs and general personality. I believe that is what sets me apart from everyone else, so that’s what I am.
We are what we wish to be.
I would have to say what is in a person’s heart as well as the actions that they do.
We are exactly what we do for the people around us. We are what we’re remembered as, we are reflected in our friends and our enemies, and we are what we leave behind after we’re gone.
I cannot begin to answer this question. I’ve been 6 different people my entire life. Always what everyone else needs/wants. Sorry I’m no help. Be well.
If we all looked exactly alike it would be very difficult to be an individual because I think we all share a lot of inner traits already like honesty, empathy, love, anger, fear and it would be too hard to distinguish between people.
I think we are a combination of outer traits, inner traits and even things like what we like to do for hobbies and spend our free time. Everything we do shapes us.
Hey James !!!!
We are how we act ! The true face of someone is his actions and not his looks ! No matter how you look if you are doing good in your community you are beautiful !
Thanks to all of you for an amazing album !
for me its how you affect others . There are so many people out there who dont have a whole lot. may not fit societies idea of beautiful but they still inspire others help others and give their heart and souls to others it Should be what is on the inside that counts. The heart, Soul essence of a person is what should define us
Personality & whats in your heart!
what defines a person, Actions, how the treat one another. how they treat the elderly, animals, people weaker than themself. Our personalities, our laugh, the light in our eyes. that is what deinfes me. How I treat people and want to be treated back. Its true, actioins do speak louder than empty words.
If we were all the same then their would be no difining traits. Just the same person. Our lives would be the same. Our faces, everything even our SKIN. Without our indivituality (sp?) we would all be one big cog in the machine called life! Life would be boring and useless!
I believe it’s strength and determination that defines a person. Someone who gets pushed down so many times and keeps getting back up! Never giving up! If we all looked alike, that person will always stand out from the crowd.
If we all had the same physical attributes we would then be forced to differentiate ourselves by our artistic voice, be it in words, music, art, dance, etc. It would also allow us to be identified by our personalities & how we respond to the things around us & how we choose to treat others.
I think that our traits is what make us different from other. Everyone has a lot of traits, but noone has the same. Every single person has own traits! It’s like with the colors. You can take blue and i can take blue. But i mix it with yellow and you with green and it won’t be the same color.
One line from skin sums it up “do unto others as you’d have done to you”. How we treat people & how they treat us can make all the difference in the world. If someone treats you like crap “rise above it” and let them see you won’t let them bring you down.
It truly is who we are on the inside. Our humour, our passions, our interests, our morals, integrity etc. That is how we should be known. But sadly, we aren’t. I think that sometimes the blind are lucky, because the beauty they see in someone truly is their inner beauty. Society has alot of us fooled into thinking the outside matters so much more! It’s funny because as I lose my sight (I have an eye disease that is causing this) I felt ashamed. Like because I was not normal, therefore not part of the crowd, but now I feel stronger and totally ok with myself. I owe a major thank you this CD and the book. It was like you were all in my corner telling me it would be ok!!
We are our actions. Our actions speaks for ourselves. We are how we talk, we are how we treat others. We are our personalities, personalities seen trough actions
What we are on the INSIDE is what matters to me! I have known people in my life that are considered “beautiful” on the outside, but their hearts are black! My son was born with a facial deformity and I have had to watch him endure criticism and bullying over the years. But the ones who have taken the time to see his beautiful heart are the ones who are still in his life. If your heart and soul are beautiful, so are you, no matter what the outside looks like! And BTW, Skin is my favorite song on the album! Love the whole thing, but Skin just resonates! Thanks for writing these wonderful songs James! Keep it going! Lots of love and light! Teri
we would be defined by our dreams. If not our skin dreams are who we are. Our inner conscious strives to capture those dreams we seek to reach, to fill our lives with anything we wish for, so we can be the most we can to be.
I would have to say that the way that we treat others who we don’t “HAVE” to treat nicely says a lot about who we are. Also the way you carry yourself (ie. with a certain level of respect, morals, and dignity) is a representation of yourself.
our feelings.
Oh James you got such good questions! Hmm…the way we are around others, the way we relate, show ampathy…the way we mirrow others. That is what defines us
hugs, Kia
My daughter has always been treated by “what she looks like.” Piercings, tattoos and for a while black hair. It made me sick when ever we went anywhere and we would get stared at. Now this same child is graduating with a scholarship. People who judge by appearance disgust me. Its the way you treat others and whats in your heart that matters.
It is the way we carry ourselves, our actions, the way we treat others. I believe our family values is a big part of each other.
I would say it would have to be our beliefs, morals, and how we treat others. Some say our actions but most people don’t show who they truly are through their actions. We put on a mask so people can’t see our pain. I am on of those people, I don’t want people to see how I am really hurting and suffering on the inside. But I will always treat people with respect and stand by my morals. Thank you, Nikki, and DJ so much for “Skin” it is inspiring and very positive.
Your question is really a hard one, James. From my point of view we are all equal and we are what we do and decide to do. Our skin doesn’t makes us who we are. It’s like a cover. I don’t know if that makes any sense to you.
Peoples personalities is what would set them apart if we all looked alike. It would be how they treat & react to other people, children & animals. The things they are interested in like movies, music, & other hobbies. We would discover that the same way we do now, by talking to them & really getting to know each other, spending time with them, whether its in a work environment or as friends hanging out. We are NOT our skin, because I have known some truly beautiful people on the outside, who were nothing but ugliness & hardness on the inside. We are the essence of what is truly in our hearts & souls.
Come on… It’s REALLY ALL ABOUT SIMPLY BEING NAKED! (sorry…Inside Joke)
Integrity, honesty, humor, love, compassion and Heart, most of all Heart. I work in an industry where woman are encouraged to be a mans fantasy, everything about this is mostly fake all the way down to toenails now, it’s unfortunate that they are judged by their appearance and not their person, yes they chose to live this life and yes they pay the money for the fake hair, nails, tans, teeth, body parts but when will they ever truly be known for the person they are. They have masters & bachelor degrees, but that’s not important. Look for the Heart, look through the eyes and see their soul.
HI JAMES! I dont think is who we are, its what we can do and achieve in life. everyday is abrand new day, so we try to make best of it , no matter what! its what inspires us to be different like wot you did to us musicly.
Actions are what would differentiate us from each other. Maybe if we all looked the same, we would actually talk to each other and get to know the person they truely are.
I have always been insecure about my appearance, always thinking i am not visually good enough compared to many others. But when i see photographs like the ones in Nikki’s book, and see the strength in their eyes, it makes me feel kind of foolish for being so insecure.
On the new album, ‘this is gonna hurt’ is my favorite sonng thus far, but ‘skin’ touches me in a way that makes me reevaluate myself.
I believe what “defines” us is our soul… Our Soul is the one thing no one can take from you… Your Soul, the way we treat other people, our creativity… our hopes and dreams…& How & IF we persue them? All these qualities DEFINE US. Our honor? Our Word? Our self esteem? Or EGO? All these things DEFINE our TRUE NATUTE. I believe everyone SHOULD STRIVE to become the BEST “VERSION” of themselves… Not pushing ANY religion here… I also personally believe I’m defined by my belief in KNOWING there is something WAY ABOVE ME…. Something that is the ULTIMATE CREATOR…. And I Strive In My Life To Be The Best Possible Person I Can Be. Finally….. BELIEVING IN YOURSELF…. You MUST BE TRUE TO YOURSELF! Don’t be follower…. Blaze your own path….
What defines us is our unique personalities which I believe is even more distinct than any facial feature. My belief is that every individual creates their own reality so no two people see the world exactly the same. I can never feel exactly the same as someone else going through the same experience – it’s impossible (e.g. mourning the death of a loved one). That’s what makes us all very special. I just wish more people realized this. What a wonderful world that would be.
Inner beauty. My gram would always say Pretty is as Pretty does. Someone can be drop dead gorgeous and a complete and utter (for lack of a better word) jerk. How one respects themselves and others, to live morally, with good character. So many are caught up in tangible wealth(material) But objects, materials, money do not make a person. If that should go away…what is left? Hopefully, alot. I have a little saying that I sometimes refer to. “Blind people are very lucky, they don’t “see” the person they are talking to, but they “see” something much deeper.
I believe it is our Eternal Soul and past/current life experience combined with what we learned from all of that (How we treat others, how we feel inside, how we think, our likes and talents & our ENERGY/vibration) that makes us each unique no matter if we all looked the same. But then again – I am a firm believer in Reincarnation & that past lives tend to influence us subconsciously in many different ways until we meditate deep enough to see them & know why we are the way we are in our CORE (challenge & strength wise) & why we feel things about certain people that just don’t make sense in this current lifetime. Namaste!
I believe it is our Eternal Soul and ALL past/current life experiences combined with what we have learned from all of that (How we treat others, how we feel inside, how we think, our likes and talents & our ENERGY/vibration) that makes us each unique no matter if we all looked the same. But then again – I am a firm believer in Reincarnation & that past lives tend to influence us subconsciously in many different ways until we can meditate deeply enough to see them & know why we are the way we are in our CORE (challenge & strength wise) & why we feel things about certain people that just don’t make sense in this current lifetime. Namaste!
Truth and honesty. Being yourself…not a person that someone else wants you to be.
EXACTLY!!!!
Its what is behind our eyes, the way we express ourselves, what we stand for and how we treat others and varying situations. You would be forced to get to know people without preconceived physical judgement. How many times have i wondered if i looked different, was taller, thinner, different hair or eyes or smile….how would my life be different? Would I be different? Would I have more confidence in myself? Would it change the choices I made? Would my life be better or the same? Since I believe that our character comes from the choices we’ve made and the things in life we have experienced/survived, I think that ultimately the person we are would not change even if we were “made over” head to toe or all looked the same. I am who I am and if someone judges me based on whats on the outside its their problem not mine. i would be lying to say it doesn’t hurt at times but I’m growing stronger every day and changing not only my view of myself but how i view things in general.
What I think is important is if you use your skin to decide how to treat people.
I know a lot of good looking people, who treat the less good looking like crap, simply because they know they will uphold their popularity anyway. Of course there are also less good looking people, who tends to treat people like crap anyway, because they’re protected by the good looking people.
But I also know some people, who have pretty faces, but still are kind and warm individuals. And that’s what makes me think that there’s actually some hope for this world..
I think that if we were all the same we wouldn’t be having this very enlightening discussion. I truly believe that through our visual perception of the world, we do not exercise as much faith in things we can’t understand about people because some of us just dismiss people as “freaks” or “disabled” and categorize and stereotype them for their perceived unique differences etc. As humans, we are agents of free will, to choose right from wrong, to discriminate and judge, or to rise above that and set an example for others.
I BELIEVE THAT A PERSON’S ABILITY TO HAVE FAITH IN THEMSELVES AND A HIGHER POWER, TRANSCENDING THE EVIDENCE OF WHAT THEY CANNOT SEE OR ACHIEVE IN THIS LIFE, BECAUSE OF WHATEVER “SO-CALLED” DISADVANTAGE, WILL ULTIMATELY DETERMINE THEIR SELF-IMAGE AND THEIR PERCEIVED IMAGE IN THE EYES OF OTHERS.
I BELIEVE THAT ONCE A PERSON REALIZES THAT THEY ARE UNIQUE JUST BASED ON THE FACT THAT THEY EXIST, IT’S THEIR CHOICE TO RISE ABOVE ANY PROBLEMS THEY HAVE, AND HAVING ENCOURAGEMENT AND SUPPORT IS JUST AN ADDED BONUS IN REALIZING THAT THEY ARE NOT LESS THAN ANYONE ELSE REGARDLESS OF THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS THEY MAY GO THROUGH, OR WHATEVER LACK OF TRUST IN PEOPLE THEY MAY HAVE HAD. I ALSO THINK THE DIFFERENCES ARE THREE-FOLD, IN THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE BORN DIFFERENT, PEOPLE WHO HAVE BECOME DIFFERENT, AND THEN PEOPLE WHO CHOOSE TO BE DIFFERENT. I STILL THINK THAT WE ULTIMATELY DEFINE WHO WE ARE, AND ONCE WE DO THAT WE WILL LEARN TO DEAL WITH A SOCIETY THAT HAS STIGMATIZED PEOPLE.
LET’S NOT LET THE GOVERNMENT ONLY DEFINE PEOPLE. RISE ABOVE PERCEPTIONS AND SEE BEYOND THE VEIL REGARDING THE VALUE OF HUMAN EXISTENCE.
WOW!!!!!!!! Well Said!!!! Bravo!!!!
what i believe defines a person is what they value, their outlook on life, what kind of impact you leave on other people, personality, and the list goes on. I’ve always looked at people believing we are all the same, because its true no one is better then other in the perspective of beauty and looks, attitudes is where alot of people fall short. I’ve met some people who didn’t follow the “society’s” definition of beauty and they were the kindest people i’ve ever met. I’ve also met people who did follow that definition and to be honest alot of them were really mean and unfriendly, i guess maybe they must have been hurt on the inside or have some kind of personal issue but whatever the reason they were not beautiful in my eyes.
Hi James! Great question…so…what defines me.? I think we are what we believe…what we hold to be the truth. Oh, man I gotta go…but I will be back another time. Tanks for posing this question…really makes one think and ponder…who am I? Love the new cd btw…you guys have grown by leaps and bounds…in all aspects…keep up the good work…LOVE IT! debbie
I honestly don’t have an answer…but I can say that “Skin” is hands down one of the most inspirational songs for my 11 year old son. He has Aspergers and is constantly judged by others, this song is his favorite. EVERY morning on the drive to school we listen to “This is gonna hurt” & “Skin”, it gets him ready to face the day. Every song on this album talks to him in some way….thank you for putting this out there!
Isn’t it amazing that one album can be so much to so many people. I’m glad your son has this album. Bring different at school is tough, been there done that. I hope that all the kids that out there and are getting picked on for being different remember that it is the things that make you different that make you special.
I am trying to be surrounded with people who are accepting themselves as a persons. We are talking a lot about beauty, outside, inside… the thing is that many people keep complaining about being not accepted by others …and the thing is THEY NEVER REALLY ACCEPTED THEMSELVES! I know some beautiful people who think they are ugly and clever people who are scared of being stupid all the time. I think that accepting ourselves the way we are, is the only way to be happy in life, but it’s also the only way to make OTHERS happy! People who are not happy can not make the other people happy…so… I don’t think I am perfect, hell no! But I am expecting from my friends to accept me the way I am, because I am accepting them the way they are! Do I like ALL people? NO, but the truth is that I always try to find SOMETHING I like in everyone. Some people make me laugh, some people know how to listen, some people are interesting cause they know much more than me about something I am interested for… and they don’t need to be perfect. I am trying to avoid people who are full of negative energy, I don’t like it, and I believe these people who are always negative are people who can not accept themselves the way they are.
I could write the novel about that, but I tried to be short (yes, that’s my way of being short, haha) And it’s very hard to explain such a complicated topic shortly…
Well said!
I read this recently, and it really struck a chord:
When you’re gone from this life, people may or may not remember your accomplishments, your aesthetic beauty, your social status. They WILL remember how you made them feel.
I think our ENTHUSIASM for life is what makes us interesting, beautiful and attractive. Passion is everything. <3
NICE ANSWER!!
I’ve tried to answer this for different reasons over the last year, and it was when I asked my husband WHY he loved me that I was flabbergasted. He did NOT have an answer, at least not one he could put into words. But over the last little while I’ve struggled to really figure out what it is about an individual that draws me to them. The key distinction has to be the way they treat others.
In more recent weeks I’ve made it my own project to act as how I want to be perceived. I’m not sure if that makes sense, but I want the answer to come easily to my husband, I want him to know exactly WHY he loves me. I’ve NO doubt in my mind that he does, and maybe the WHY isn’t even important, so long as I know. That is one of the reasons why I love HIM. He has a very genuine heart and for the most part is a great human being. He may not think so but I think as he’s getting more and more in touch with his authentic self everyone else is seeing it and feels at ease in his presence because of it.
Maybe it’s charisma, I’m not sure, but if you go about your life with honest intentions, and an open heart, people will respond.
Thank you James, DJ, and Nikki, for SUCH a gift.
Be whomever u want…Dont judge a book by its cover, to every cloud there is a silver lining
It is our souls and the experiences we go through that make us unique and who we are,anyone can have a face,be it beautiful or truly beautiful,its what life has taught us and the manner it has been taught that shapes who we are inside.
If all things were equal for everyone I think it would be the light we project from within. Some people are dark and you can feel it while others shower people with their light, their joy. You can take what you want from others and leave behind what you dont and in this way the light is carried on and throughout.
What defines us? I believe it is us who defines us. The music we have inside of us that some truly never let out. Each of us have our own tunes that we hear and some show that to other people. others hide it deep inside, leading a fake life of what they believe others want. You have to decide if you let other people decide who you are or if you will let that music out and decide who you are. Hope this makes sense. because it does to me.
Colleen, I love your answer, it makes sense to me.
I know it may sound harsh, but first, we should pretend that we were blind.Then we could FEEL each person, to get to know it from the inside and meet the angel who lives inside the person’s heart.
We all have something that nobody has, nobody but us.And that’s exactly what makes us different from each other.
We just have to be true to ourselves, let it out.Because sometimes it’s hidden so deep inside of us that it’s almost impossible to allow people to see and feel what we’ve got the best, our true beauty.
I think this is how true love happens, when we show our personality, values, virtues and qualities and there is no judjment, only acceptation.
I agree
Dear James,
We can look all the same but with different DNA. Our actions in life and how we treat other people is what make us unique. We can express our inner self thru our own style, attitude, accomplishments, and gratitude for life and for the ones around us. Thanks for THIS IS GONNA HURT.
I think it’s our personality which defines us. And the values we believe and we share (like respect, tolerance, honesty, generosity…). If our heart is beautiful, we are beautiful, whatever the look we have, the clothes we wear, the coulor of our skin…
Our souls are different and our values……I hope people judge me for those things not for my face.
I think it is how kind, true, and loyal we are. Actions speak much louder than words, however, words can cut to the bone. Being happy (or even looking happy) when you have depression is hard. I try to offset that by being the best friend I can be, and being a good person to strangers..
We are our personalities. The traits that we inherit from birth and are taught throughout our lives define the person we are meant to be. Without the tutelage of our parents, mentors, guardians, teachers we would not be who were are. Appearance, when it comes down to it, means nothing. What you think of the way you look only makes up for a fraction of who you really are.
we are our hearts.
What defines us as individuals is life experience and the knowledge we acquire from those experiences, whether good or bad. Our strength and attitude plays a huge part in it as well. My mother, for example, came from abusive parents. She could have followed the long family tradition with her own children as many people do, but she chose to show her children more love and care than she ever experienced or knew existed. Her strength made her fight through and put an end to a history of physical and psychological abuse.
If you don’t like something in your life, change it. It’s your life.
Always keep this question in mind: Are you living or simply existing?
xoxo – Jen
We are spirits living a human experience,our essence is the vibration of our energy, the rest is the vehicle that allows us to make contact on this planet.
I think our souls might define us. However, one can not take away our experiences in life that shape and change us. I know for that for me the sexual abuses and emotional abuse that I endured as a child.. and into my teens definately made me a nurturing &caring person.. but it also created a lot of fear, ocd tendancies etc… That being said unless we take the time to get to know each other, we very well could at any given moment be judged/seen in one light. And sometimes its pretty and sometimes it well isn’t. I would like to believe that if I dig down past the skin… past even my personallity.. there is an unblemished soul, full of beauty & Love… lots and lots of Love. Sometimes we “See” only what we reflect out to the world… so I try to reflect the good and that is what I really try to see in humankind. What do I know but thats my belief.
@ JAMES MICHAEL…. Your Turn To Answer.
There’s this brilliant word in English ‘individual’ and I think, that’s what we are. It’s a way of thinking, perceiving world, reacting to things that are happening around, these are our skills, our joys and sorrows, our mentalities, hearts wide open or eyes shut close. All those things make us different and would make, even if we all looked the same. But you know, your question is a great topic for a thesis, and even if someone would try to write hundreds of pages I don’t think the answer would be complete, and maybe what we are, are things we cannot even count, because there are so many of them, yet, it’s all in our heads, and that’s beautiful.
Hi James!
I ended up creating a blog post out of my response! LOL Part answer to your question, part “this is what happened to me and why I answered the way I did”.
http://scatteredthoughtsandartisticmusings.blogspot.com/
Someone once told me that character is who you are in the dark. I don’t think there is a truer statement.
We are a lot of things that aren’t blatant on the outside. How someone treats others, how someone loves,
How someone fights, how someone forgives, are all things that make us different from the person sitting next to us.
Everyone is passionate about something and we are all passionate about different things – they help build our character along with our experiences and our choices – they build who we are and who we become. People seem inherently afraid to walk up and say hi to a stranger or make friends outside of their comfort zone – its something I had to get over early in life because of what I do for a living so it happened by default. But instead of being afraid of the big guy with all the tattoos all dressed in black – after a few beers and good conversation – they have become some of my best friends and the most caring people I know, even though they look terrifying. I always know who I am – so if you want to know all you have to do is ask, Im always game for a drink and a chat with a stranger…you never know who you may find…… ~ Andrea.
If you can ignore the opinions of others then you define yourself. I know who I am and if I stay true to myself then I’m walking well.
Hi James, I believe our personality is one way of defining who we are as an individual, our attitude,character , spirit and compassion for others, I find greatness is being a compassionate spirit , something that is so dear to me is spreading simple kindness. If we all were Identical I believe the world would be such a dead land nothing new it would like seeing a test pattern like on TV 24/7. I would not want a world were everyone was the same outside. I feel that we are millions of extraordinary souls operating different vehicles for show but we all are the same on the inside we possess character, charm, personality the ability to dream love be compassionate towards others there is so much greatness in being the same inside and outer appearence different even visually Identical twins are not the same .
well put as usuall susan !! i agree…
What defines me is the caring person that I am. I don’t like seeing people being hurt or hurting because of who they are. I’ve always been a friend you can count on to be there thru the good times and the bad. I’ve lived a hard life but that has defined who I am. I know what it feels like to have nothing and feel like nothing. No one can ever keep me from being that kind of person.
We are defined by our spirits, by each and every reaction we emit. By paying if forward. People usually sense another ‘good’ spirit, you learn so much about other people by just being in their presense. The eyes are, indeed the doorway to the soul, you just have to “look” and them, are they looking back at you in an honest, kind manner? When I pass people on the street, whether I know them or not, I smile and BIG smile and look’em in the eye and say, “How ARE you?” then I wait for a response…I listen to the answer! It’s how my Grandmother raised me. Don’t ask a question with no intent of hearing the resonse. I’ve met some incredible people over the years by just asking, “How ARE you?” So WE, as people, are defined by the beauty of our spirit…that’s what I think!
we are our actions and words. if we are all non-discript exact same looking beings, then i feel the way to individualize ourselves is our words and acts. take yourself for instance james, thru your words in the songs i envision a caring beautifull person, if you were to spout racism and hate i would envision a pitifull, disgusting soul.. same with actions, if one helps his fellow man i find that beautifull, one who hurts or kills others is ugly…
thats my thoughts on that, hope it’s understandable to others… thanks for asking…
COME ON THERE JAMES….. We want your opinion…..
What i think defines us is, our personality and who we are from within us. For example ; you can be fine as hell on the outside, but be ugly on the inside by being concided, mistreating others, badly commenting about how others look , etc..
It’s about who we are in the dark when nobody is looking. It’s about action being louder than words. If your true to yourself, honest with your experiences & keep your word. It says more about you than what you look like
I think it is our inner makeup what we believe, how we love, the way we feel. Things we are taught through parents, family, religion, Someone or thing that inspires us. It is then up to us and the choices we make to say this is the real me and the person I want to be. Discovering that could take time and people don’t always show you who they are. Sooner or later it eventually is out. I think this is why we let some people in and cherish and then there are the ones we let go.
I believe that we are our personality and should be judged by our actions not how we look. BUT!!! We must look at each other as a whole; not just how we treat one another but how we treat everybody! I watch my friends, true friends is a short list for me but my own choice, to see how they treat others ESPECAILLY wait staff in restaurants or cashiers or janitors. Because if they treat those people like shit or like they are less of a person, I know that they are not truly good people! I am genuine, due to my beliefs I am not trying to phony my way into any where!! I try every day to be better than I was the day before and to inspire thought in at least one person. Peace!
we create an idea of ourselves from the symbolic things around us. We are country, culture, religion. We are defined by ideas of sex and gender, of familial expectations, of physical capabilities, of intellectual possibilities. History, biology and socialization all have an incredibly strong force on us. Yet despite this, there is something more.
There is always something that you feel true passion for. That passion is the true measure of who you are. For me, no matter who looks down at me for my scars, my tattoo’s, my raggedy goth clothes, my plain face, there is something they can’t see. If I stopped writing, I’d be dead already. btw, this one is inspired by ‘skin’.
Art/Skin (who says inspiration can’t be the sincerest form of flattery)
If I tell you I am
a girl made of
scars and tattoo’s
will you
…understand?
I know that I
did this to
myself as much as
he
did this to me.
I just wanted/
couldn’t bear to
make you see.
Some days I
touch the lines
on my skin
and I smile.
Oth
still see them in
my eyes?
I painted my body
in blood and ink.
It’s mine. It’s mine and
never
his.
So don’t look at me
and tell me I’m
wrongwrongwrong
bad ugly stupid
mutilated.
I’m still alive
and this skin?
It’s
mine
SWEET!
We are our personality, but above all, we are our HISTORY, because man is built since its infancy in its relations to the other (close, but also others). We live different things, we feel things differently, we are raised differently … life is always full of surprises, good and bad … and all these experiences and “learning” instilled by our parents – near or through life we are and make us who we are today. AND we continue to build us EVERY DAY over the experiences, encounters and what life holds for us. Appearance plays tricks on us sometimes … how many times I’ve seen people try the other on his appearance or what it shows him, and then be surprised when they learn about the other in private. How are we really? Extroverted or introverted? haughty, violent, or sensitive …, listening to the other …? and above all WHY? (because there is always an explanation). So what sets us apart is our experience, and how we felt & integrated it(fear,hate, love, security, trust, recovery …). All this makes our inner wealth (our personality). And we all agree that it is this inner beauty that is the most beautiful and interesting.
What makes each of us unique from each other in the absence of physical traits? I believe its expressed in the way we react to life challenges, the way we react to each other, and the way we express our emotions. I believe we are each the product of our life experiences, good and bad…how we respond to those experiences and the situations and emotions they create is an expression of our individuality….our personality.
Still Would Love To Hear From You James….
We are our words and actions. Plain and simple.
We are defined by the things and people we love. The things we live for are what we are.
We are what we do… our actions – or inactions – define us far more than anything else.
And I still believe what the wizard of oz says – a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.
My “Skin” is my mind, heart and soul. All of those little things that come togther to make you “you”. They are the wonderful things you enjoy out of someone, like the way my daughter will snort if she laughs really hard, the giggle she has when she is uncomfortable. The way my son will play with his hair when he is thinking, his great sideways little grin. In general, our “quirks” we all show without thinking. Above all it comes from our heart in the form of values, the wonderful littlle peak people get into your heart when you are honest. The things that we are insecure about at times are our most valued by the ones that love us.
we are who we are. if others judge WHO we are – they dont know THEM. THEY dont understand what it is to be yourself. but i also think people that cant see through ones appearance is small minded and blind to the truth.
I think much of who we are is how we make others feel. I know that I have a heart of gold and sometimes too much, I feel. Some people mistake this as a weakness and take advantage of it but in the end how I made others feel and what I have done to help in their life is how they are going to remember me. I don’t judge and I am as down-to-earth as they get. I am beautiful.
I have to say for myself My need to give to others. Especially the kids at school every day for years I have volunteered in classrooms for those kids whos parents are too busy to be there. It is very rewarding and selfless, I feel almost like the little I give to each child will be there with them always. most of the classes i am in are not my own child’s. we have a huge gap in education in our country and unless these kids have a physical disability they receive NO help. so for me I am selfless to them .. I played these kids skin last week and they are all in love with that message. thank you I have spent many of my own dollars on things our staff needs right now am raising money for ipods fro our listening center for the kids who are not yet at grade level reading hopefully next year we have a couple donated to them but until then we make do and read them out loud 5 times a day to each child..lol thank you for all you do for you fans.
I believe it’s how we’re raised at home. I believe James said in the documentary that we aren’t born into this world already judgmental over things it’s what we’re taught at home. If everyone was the same I believe that what we’re taught at home defines how you deal with others. Every morning as I drive to the post office I drive by an elementary school and I see these kids walking together and their so innocent it’s what we as parents, friend, the media put into their heads that make then look at others differently.
We would be judged only by our actions. Everyone would try to give his best and kick ass everyday! Maybe it would be a better world…
I love this question. I believe we are defined by the choices we make and the actions we take. It’s not the clothes we wear, but our scars that show the obstacles we have faced and overcome. It’s not the size of our homes, but the size of our hearts that truly matters. The way you treat others and the things you say, but more importantly the things you DO are what defines us as individuals. Our beliefs, our passions, our loves, our likes and dislikes make us who we are, and the rest doesn’t really matter.
James, I am here to answer your question in my own way. If we’re not to be judged by our skin because that’s not who we are, then who are we? We are what’s beneath the skin, the heart that’s beating inside each and every one of us. It’s the soul beneath the skin and the heart that makes us who we are, makes us who we want to be to be proud of ourselves because we can stand up and say I’m proud to be different and it’s okay. People judge me everyday because I’m different and I just tell them that it’s okay to be different and no matter what you say to me I know I’m beautiful. We are not our scars, we are all beautiful in our own ways and nothing will change that.
That’s such a good question & it’s too bad we really don’t interact the way we should with each other..I think a few of the things that defines a person is their personality, beliefs, their soul. If we all looked the same we would still be able to tell the “people person,” the “outgoing person,” the “introverted person,” apart just by the way they interact with each other. If we all looked alike, I think we’d be forced to interact more with one another to actually get to know each other. We should do this naturally but, because many still judge by looks, improper assumptions are made based on how a person looks. If we all looked like Ken & Barbie dolls or shapeless, floating blobs with eyes, we would have to make an effort to get to know one another. We would all be on the same page so to speak. In my line of work, the most wonderful, caring souls are not who you may think. One of the most empathetic & caring people I’d ever met was confined to bed with termanal cancer & had about 3 or 4 months to live. She didn’t give a crap that her hair was gone or that she looked like death. You can feel it when she looked at you. Almost like she was piering your skin with her eyes & looking directly into your soul. I almost felt like she totally understood me without a word being said. So, I think what defines a person would be how they treat others. To me, that’s what really counts. Their beliefs & personality tie into this too but how a person treats another human being gives you direct access into who they really are.
Richard… James answered on FB… check it out.
I believe that most people, if they were really to look deep into their souls and really be honest with their feelings,they would find someone much different than who they are now. We all get so wrapped up in the life that we’re living that sometimes we forget to look at our true selves and just go along with what we know. Always worrying what other people are thinking about us and trying to fit in, even if it means lying to ourselves. Are we our dreams and aspirations, our hearts, our brains? Or are we so much more than what we even choose to see? It is not just our skin that defines us from one another. It is our choices, our desires and our way of experiencing life. How we perceive the world around us is unique to each person. If people only took the time to really look inside their souls to find who they are, then I think skin wouldn’t be such a hard thing to deal with.
What about a person defines who they are? If there were no distinctive or defining traits about our appearance (if we all looked exactly the same) then what would it be that made us all different and how would we discover that about each other? Since we are NOT our skin, who ARE we?
We are, I think, defined by many factors aside from what is literally on display for all the world to see. Our every word, thought, and deed define us. How we react and interact with the world around us and how we treat and care for each other, and ourselves, defines us. How we perceive whatever situation we find ourselves in and how we choose to grow (or not) from these situations define us from one another.
I believe our hearts and souls, our character, our treatment of others and how we react to others defines who we are. Faith in something greater than ourselves plays a huge part in our make-up. When u begin to love yourself is when you truly begin to live and that is what will help define all parts of you including that part of you that everyone sees.
So I am not my skin, I am heart, Soul and a piece of everyone. Peace
All the reply’s are sooo inspiring.. thank you James for making us think.
I am the way I walk, the words I speak, how I choose to listen and what I choose to give. I am the choices that I make. I am the sum of what lies behind me and the path I choose to forge. I am simple. I am complex. I am incomplete. I am a work in progress…
We are DISCOURSE, LANGUAGE, COMMUNICATION… verbal and non-verbal… expressed in conversations, lectures, music, gestures, gaze, body language, literature… there we express our beliefs, values… we are an accidental biological mess with a verbal need
ha d’ya like that!?
Thanks again for an awesome record!
Wow. What an album, SO worth the wait. You guys are AWESOME! PLESAE offer some Sixx A.M. merchandise like T-Shirts! Please keep pumping out more great moving songs in the future. Two of the best albums I have heard. They totally speak to you.
The album is amazing no filler just great tunes from beggining to end. I know you probably hear this a lot but I think I am speaking for all the fans in that we would love to hear you guys play these songs live.
I was bullied through most of high school and “Skin” helps me realise that I deserve to be here.
Exactly, that’s what I like about the album, there’s no sugarcoating, they tell it like it is. Well said!
I agree with you James, We all try to be somebodyelse besides ourselfs. I tell my boys all the time to just be themselfs and everything else will hopefully go as they plan. My oldest is 12 and he is going through alot of changes in his life right now, and I try to take sometime everyday and have a talk with him about life and his fellings I don’t want him to not come to me when he has a problem. He got to hear the album for the first time the other night and he fell in love with it. Just like the herorin diaries he kept running off with that one as well, that is just how much we enjoy the music. Great job and congrats on the top 10.
If we all looked the same, we would still not wear our soul on our face.
To touch, feel, physically, emotionally in the individual way we do, our perceptions of the world around us, of each other, our thoughts,unique, our own roar emotions, the way we act to different situations and people. If i were to reach out to you my “touch”, would be different from anothers, the way i would be, would feel, not just on a physical level but on a mental and stimulating level, the FEEL of my touch would be mine alone, and how you would percieve it would be different from any other towards you. Our soul is NOT on our FACE or skin, it comes from within.
We are how we treat others-from our closest loved ones to the strangers that cross our path.
“I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together”
“Little pieces of the nothing that fall…”
Teachers, students and drop-outs all melting together and wearing blinders.
Dontcha see??? Don’t they see ??? You ARE her and him and the neighbor and the bitch and the nice person and the old person and the babies too…and so on and so on…..
BE NICE TO YOURSELF TODAY!!! Peace Imagine
meh
That little voice inside your head that you share with no-one – your innermost thoughts – the non edited part of us – not the one we share with the world. Actions mean nothing, these can be deceitfull.
sorry just saw this James. if we were all exactly same in looks, we would be distinguished by our inside heart, mind, and soul. those are the true measure of a person. if you can’t see their soul they are hiding everything from you. if you can’t hear their heart then they silencing it. if you can’t read their mind, then you are not being allowed to see them. look for the inside, that is the part that is truly beautiful. yes there are people that are ugly on the inside.
This is true art, the ability to make others see a different view of something that we perceive in a specific way. It is an important statement for our times and I hope people will get it.
Great songs and musicianship. Lies of the Beautiful People is the best hook I have heard in 2011 and the guitar solo rocks.
Thanks for the wake up call
We’re not our skin, but we are everything else that’s held within our skin. The how and why of our emotions and personality, and how both those traits respond to every day situations we interact with. The soul inside of us is what defines us as human. The things we value, the words we say (and don’t say), the complexity of every trait about us tied into one entity. Our individuality and freedom, combined with how we choose to portray our individuality and what we do with our freedom, are key things to look at in discovering who we really are.
We are other’s perceptions of who they think we are. It is the non-verbal cues we give each other that are so easily misunderstood and misread. We are who we want the other person to be, because they don’t “fit” into our ideal world. An experiment: bring us together in 1 place and blindfold us all. We can only talk and listen to each other, no non-verbal cues, no looks to give that perceived “wrong” first impression. Blind us and let us talk. Colleen
I love “Skin” it truely is a beautiful song it made my mom change her perspective about the type of music I listen to!
Hi James,
Like the old saying goes, actions speak louder than words. And like Maya Angelou says, we SHOW people who we are.
So my thoughts are, regardless of what you look like outside, it’s what you do, your character and how that’s demonstrated, that tells people who you are.
Ultimately, I think you are who you BELIEVE you are. Unfortunately, some people will become a product of the circumstances they grew up in because they were young & impressionable & accepted how primary adults defined them. Some people become influenced by societal ideals & pressures. Some by their peers or their lovers, others by life events of great tragedy or success. We are NOT defined by the events that happen to us or by what corporate America says we should be. The good news is it’s NEVER too late to change WHO you believe you are, life is a journey of self discovery.
We are the sum total of our experiences. No matter if we all looked exactly the same our environments would not be. So then nature and nurture would step up to provide the differences.
Dawn, You hit the nail on the head here. We are what we are because of our experiences; it’s what makes us – better or worse. Once we become aware of how we feel and act from those experiences is what makes the difference. I applaud Sixx AM for having the balls to write these incredible songs, for Nikki to take these forgotten people into his lens and capture their essence, their true inner beauty and share it with the world. God knows the world could use a big slap in the face.
We are who God says we are, not what we look like or even what we do. I do stuff contrary to my nature all the time, but with Him it is getting better. Do I want to be a hurtful selfish liar as before, or a more helpful honest person? I have to say for me it is ‘never give up.’ Like in your song accidents can happen (love it)!! That is how God loves us, and how I can love since He lives. Powerful question!
im also a christain and even tho this is a hard rock band alot of the lyrics speak to wut god wants us to do, love people for who they r
We are our life experiences and how we handle them. This truly defines one because out of every part of a person, their actions speak the loudest.
That is very true Sarah and I agree with you all the way. Sometimes I can’t trust people beacuse that will star rumors about me but I will stick up for what I believe in and this is what I believe in.
To be honest with you guys I learned things the hard way when I was growing up Nikki Sixx I am a very big fan of yours. We have our ways, our values, our own attitudes towards people. Also Nikki I have not read your book The Herion Diaries yet but I plan to though. I have learned alot about people and I feel like I can’t judge somebody when I first see them. In my ways of thinking I see it as this everyone has the right to what they think, what they believe in, their own values of things. I am so honored right now to be writing what I feel right now by reading about Sixx:A.M. and to be truthful I love your band.
I believe in mostly trust when it comes to friends and definetly family. I have my own set of standards, needs and of course wants but the most important thing in my life is my family and friends plus school. This is what I beleive in and I’m not going to set myself up just to get knocked down in life because of people picking on me. Also I learned to let things pass you by sometimes. Not everything you want you can’t get all the time but it’s okay. Nikki I love your saying “It’s okay to be different” beacuse I learned that I am glad to be different from most people and I am thankful for that.
‘Skin’… one of the most beautiful songs i have ever heard.. musically & lyrically..
well my 5 year old girl was born with a heart defect and has had 2 open heart surgereys,she loves justin bieber,lady gaga,etc. BUT this song is her absolute favorite. she sings every word,for me its breaks my heart to see her sing this song. but on the other hand it kinda helps me through too. thank you guys.
Your song Skin and Lies of the Beautiful People really do relate to me people dont understand what i mean when i say im beautiful on the inside not on the outside. i will admit im overweight, for my age, and in school i made fun of alot, i have been in the part where im majorly depressed and would try abusing myself with medication, and i have, and i ended up in the hosplital, and then i cut myself, which i now stopped but people dont believe me when i say i find the most creepiest things and ugliest to peoples eyes beautiful. i saw a girl who was burnt up her face was deformed because of it and i told her i find her the most beautiful person in the world. thank you so much for creating those songs in your new album.
I can’t think of a more powerful way to express yourself than in a great song. Skin is unbelievable. The way you sing it James gives me goosebumps on top of goosebumps. They lyrics are so brutally honest that when I heard it, I played it a bazillion times and was like, OMG is this for real? Is someone actually that honest? I take my hat off to you guys because this song is such a gem!
We are our souls and our spirits my love! We are what we make ourselves. There’s a saying that says ‘We are a product of our environment’ and i say it’s bullshit. We are what we choose to be and NOBODY can make that choice for us. Anyone who tells you different is either lying or trying to sell you something.
Hi everybody out there,
I can’t tell you what defines a person. I thought about that for a long time. Who am I? What makes me the person who I am? Maybe its a mixture of experiences in life, education by parents and other family members, the little things I experienced in childhood or the genecoding that buildes the basic of how I handle, how my feelings come out, what I do.
I’m not bad looking. Some people say about me I could be a modle. But if I tell them only 10% of the my history they went back, as if I be a total diferent person they thought be seeing me before not knowing something about me. Me response to them is normaly: “My figure dan’t pay me no bills and don’t give me the courage to change my life.” I think there is no one definition of who we are, it changes over the decades and the life. Personality to me is an experience on a jourey.
All the best for you and a happy new year
Regina